Saturday 17 October 2015

The truth about being single

I wanted to write something witty and laugh out loud entertaining, but writers block messed up that idea. Then I thought about something semi serious and inspirational, but nope no luck with that either. So instead I'm going to write the truth about being single.

It's officially that time of year here we all start looking for a winter partner. Someone to introduce to your family at christmas and someone you can guarantee will buy you a present you actually like.

There's also a few people in relationships who seem to think the grass is greener over here, the people who imagine our lives are all partying and casual sex, when in reality its having to actually pay for your own netflix account. (In my case the netflix account the whole family seems to use)

I mean obviously if your other half is a total dickhead, feel free to ditch them, but if you might I dunno, actually love them or something. It's probably best to read this list before calling your crew for a wild night out, I dumped the stupid bitch/bastard ( delete appropriately) celebration bash..

The truth about being single.

  • You will have one great night out celebrating being single and then no one will care. 
  • Other people still have relationships and don't wanna go out and play wing woman, they're probably gonna have a 'night in' with the other half i.e.. eat pizza and bang.
  • You'll probably exercise or go to the gym more than you actually sex (but when you eventually do your body will look amazing)
  • If you're lucky you'll get the occasional shit shag every few months that you'll have to wildly exaggerate to your friends
  • You'll have way more money to spend on yourself
  • You'll use that money to pay for your own netflix account
  • No one to spoon
  • Cooking for one, sucks
  • You'll probably download and delete tinder at least three times.
  • You'll probably spend a lot more time on the internet.
So there you are...ok I guess there are a few upsides, freedom mainly, but just something to think about before becoming single in hibernation season.



No comments:

Post a Comment

Blog design by aleelilydesigns