Sunday 17 August 2014

Single Life

It was 2012, my other half and I had been together 2 and a half years, we lived together in a nice 2 bedroom flat, I was head over heels in love..... This is it, 'the one' marriage, children etc that was the plan, or so I thought. Then it went sour.

Suddenly back living with my parents, I wondered what on earth was I doing with my life ? I'd had it all and lost it so quickly. I hadn't properly lived with my family since I was 16, so used to my own place, my own rules, I don't drive and it was frustrating almost frightening how dependant I now felt on other people.

I'd never really been single as an adult, I was so used to being part of a couple that I didn't really know anything about myself. Fast forward 2 years and I'm once again living alone, independent and guess what? Single. It's been a long journey to get to where I am now, full of ups and downs, smiles and tears. I may not know exactly where I'm going in life but I know it'll all work out in the end.

Here's 5 things I've learnt being a single girl in her twenties :-)

Good friends are hard to find. I'm lucky that I've had the same friends forever. They're the ones who are always there no matter what. I know plenty of people to go for a drink with but it's not the same. I think we're all guilty of sometimes taking our friends for granted, appreciate them, be there for them. Real friends will come armed with vodka and a shoulder to cry on when needed.

Its OK to not have a plan. Often the best things in life are unplanned. It's totally fine to say ' I don't know what I'm doing long term, but I'm happy and healthy and not hurting anyone' .Always have a plan for paying bills though, debts not cool.

Stop comparing yourself to others. I used to be the one in a relationship while everybody else was single, now the situations reversed. Friends went off to Uni or got good jobs and I couldn't help but compare myself and not feel good enough. Just because something is right for someone else doesn't mean it's right for you !! This was one of the most important things I've learnt. 

Sex is overrated. Helloooo ever heard of Ann Summers ? Do it yourself is the way to go, Trust me... I went through a crazy stage abroad with one night stands ( it doesn't count if it's in a different country) Walks of shame are not cool, going to bed with a 10 and waking up next to a 2 when the drinks worn off, again not cool . Learn what you like, get yourself off, then when you meet someone worthy enough to be in your bed, you'll know exactly how to direct them.

Be crazy. Following on from the point above, it's totally ok to go through a stage of being promiscuous. You're only young once. Be sensible, use a condom. I personally think I had to go through that phase to get to where I am now. I have more self respect now than I've ever had before. Take risks in life ( not sexually ) don't let opportunitys pass you by, this is your chance to do whatever you please, without having a grumpy other half to answer to. 

Break ups are difficult, mine was ( as you can tell from above ) but I hope I've helped you see that they can have positives. Never stay in an unhappy relationship because it seems easier than being alone. You deserve more than that.

Lots of love Charlotte xx

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